On the first day God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten.”
So God agreed.
On the second day God created the monkey. God said, “Entertain people, do monkey tricks and make them laugh. I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.” The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? I don’t think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that’s what I’ll do too, okay?”
And God agreed.
On the third day God created the cow. “You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years.”
The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I’ll give back the other forty.”
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day God created man. God said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I’ll give you twenty years.”
Man said, “What? Only twenty years? Tell you what, I’ll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back, that makes eighty, okay?”
Okay,” said God, “You’ve got a deal.”
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves; the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family; the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
“Eleven Hints for Life”
1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.
3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose
it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been
missing until it arrives.
5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.
6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.
8. Always put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.
9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.
10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.
11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
It’s Mother’s DAy A day to celebrate for our loving mothers.
I see people from facebook posting pictures of them with their mother and saying what they feel for them. I’m happy how they were able to vulgarly tell and show the world about it.
As for me when I woke up this morning I just went beside my mother and kissed her without saying a word. Things that words can’t express ^_^
Edward Elric: It’s equivalent exchange , I’ll give you HALF my life,
So give me HALF of yours!.
Wenry Rockbell: You really are dumb. You want HALF?
I’ll give you all of it.
Enjoy these 26 funniest charting errors that were found on actual medical charts.
All charting errors starts with assessment, of course.
“On the second day, the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared!”
“Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.”
“She is numbed from her toes down.”
“Cough with flame” (I guess that nurse’s patient was a dragon!).
And did you know that rectal exams can now reveal the size of your thyroid?
“Rectal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid”. Or maybe, that nurse has really long index finger.
Another thing, assessment cues like these can be really confusing:
“Skin: somewhat pale but present.”
“The skin was moist and dry.”
“Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.”
“Patient was alert and unresponsive.”
“The patient has no previous history of suicides.”
“The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.”
“She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got separated”, that patient’s marriage must be really awful, talk about getting a relief!
“Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities”, DSM-V now indicates that having teenage children is an abnormality.
“The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.”
Weird Nursing Diagnoses
“Acute pain related to witchcraft”.
“Bowel incontinence related to shyness”.
“Insomnia related to computer games”.
Interventions & Others
“Discharge status: Alive but without permission.” I didn’t knew that hospitals now issue permissions for you to be alive.
“The patient refused autopsy.” – LOL
“With 02 inhalation via foley bag catheter attached to urobag.”
“advised patient to take a bath”
“IVF consumed and terminated then replaced with the same IVF”
“Regulated IVF to KVO to run for 2 hours”
“While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.”
“The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.”
And the winner is:
“She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night”.
He’s been in my mind all the time,
BUT She’s in my heart most of the time
Gyah totally confused heart grrrr